El morales la observación - 7 "My Destructive Past"

Prompt: Learning more effective ways you express emotion

I am not going to lie have done some very destructive things when I wanted to express my emotions. Usually the emotions I display are the negative ones I am rarely happy. I overthink and let negative thoughts swirl in my head. Sometimes it just consumes me. In this dark time I did little constructive thinking. All I thought was that everything was my fault and I wanted to punish myself for it. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I never hanged out with my friends, I never allowed myself to smile, etc. I could go on and on with listing what I did to myself but the list would be too long. I really made myself suffer and it was not healthy. I began to lose more and more of myself until I looked myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the man I saw before me. When I saw that stranger right in front of me something inside my clicked and knew I had to stop all of this. I started to suppress my emotions because I thought it was better than showing so much of my emotions. For a while I thought I was ok, for a while I thought I moved past all of this. Apparently I was wrong. After a while I started to feel nothing, absolutely nothing. It was the worst feeling in the world. To feel nothing at all no happiness, no sadness, no pain is scary. I was wearing this mask for too long, I suppressed my emotions for an extended period of time and now I’m afraid I lost my emotions. I continued to live like this for a long time until I had enough. The emotions were not gone they were just being bottled up and locked away. One day I removed the locks and let my emotions flow. It was a relief to have released my emotions. I had someone tell me you should no longer suppress your emotions but embrace it, your emotions are what makes you who you are. Emotions can be channeled throughout many creative mediums such as art, dance, songs the list goes on and on. There are many effective ways to channel those emotions into something constructive. I learned that there were many ways to express your emotions not all of them good, but those that are good are priceless.